


I Digress.

by HomicidalCarTire



Category: Life
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-15
Updated: 2017-08-13
Packaged: 2018-10-19 05:37:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10633350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HomicidalCarTire/pseuds/HomicidalCarTire
Summary: Basically a collection of the things I want to achieve in life. Plus random thoughts on various topics.Mostly just me ranting.





	1. To Future Self

This is mostly just for myself. A place for me to collect all the little snippets of what I would like my life to be like. I, like a lot people seem to, have this alternate reality kind of thing that I often find myself lost in. But for me it's more of an alternate future as opposed to the one I'm probably going to have. This is not at all realistic but it's really fun and always changing so I decided it's probably better to keep that one to myself. But the one that I'm going to be documenting here is a lot more realistic and very possible if I get my life together and start moving forward soon. So I've decided to keep it all in one place because every time I come up with something that'd be nice to have in the future one of the following happens to it.

1\. It just pops into my head and I think, _Hmm that'd be nice._ And then it just kind of fades away.

2\. I think of something then I just rant to no one. Usually in my bathroom... the shower is a nice place to have pretend conversations in. But also anywhere someone might not see me mouthing what appears to be a seriously persuasive argument. And once I do that I kind of feel like I got it out of my system so yeah it'll kind of be  _out of my system._

3\. I actually manage to write it down but it's usually a piece of paper I see laying around or a random book or sometimes I rant to my friends (via text because I currently don't have any friends to talk to in the flesh... well unless you count my parents and my sister, but y'all are probably well aware or what happens after you tell your family about your future expectations) but then all of it's just all over the place and not much use to me.

So this is going to be my one place for that. And I also would like to see how my goals and expectations and just my attitude towards things along with my writing change throughout time.

So um yeah that's basically what this is. :))

Xo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Update: This started out as what I described above, but now it's just a collection of random things from various parts of my organized mess of a mind.


	2. A Normal Week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a normal week. The first bit could be during the weekend and the rest the weekdays.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one was originally me ranting with my friends so it's in text form. Maybe I should change it but I'm feeling lazy right now so maybe later.
> 
> Wow. I send long texts.

I really want my own little place and I wanna get up in the morning and do my little morning routine without someone knocking on the bathroom door telling me to hurry up.

I wanna cook myself breakfast and get dressed in whatever I want and go out and have a day to myself, like go to a museum or get a massage then go to a nice restaurant and have lunch then go to the park, walk around for a while enjoying the nature while listening to music then go to a cute little cafe and drink some coffee while watching the sun set.

And then go home and order some take out or pop something in the oven for dinner and take a nice relaxing shower singing along loudly to the music I have playing loudly because no one else is home while the foods gets there or until it's done cooking.

Then getting out of the shower and changing into some comfy pajamas and getting my dinner and sitting on my couch watching FRIENDS while eating because no one's there to yell at me telling me not do other things while eating.

Then continuing to watch FRIENDS even after the dishes have been put away until I'm pretty tired and then locking all the doors and turning off all the lights and getting in bed.

Then proceeding to stay up pretty late on my phone because there's no one there to yell at me telling me to turn off my phone and go to sleep.

Then actually go to sleep once I plug my phone into it's charger because I can't even keep my eyes open.

Then getting up early because of my alarm which is playing a song that I despise so I'm forced to get up and turn it off so I don't have to listen to it anymore.

Then actually getting out of bed instead of sleeping in like I want to even though I can because there's no one to make me get out of bed.

Then getting ready to go to class (like in college) or work (if my parents hadn't let me live by myself during college) and secretly liking it despite whining about hating it with my friends due to the stress and my laziness.

And then grabbing a granola bar, a fruit, and a tea on the way because I wasted too much time singing and dancing to music while I was getting ready because there was no one else there to tell me that I was gonna be late if I didn't hurry up so I didn't have enough time for breakfast.

Then get home with a salad that I bought cause I was too tired to make lunch. And collapsing on my couch exhausted but not really minding because it meant I was doing something with my life.

Then laying there for a while because there was no one else there to tell me to go and change.

Then going and changing because what I was wearing wasn't comfortable enough.

Then eating lunch and then going out to buy groceries and getting a Starbucks or something on the way home because I can.

Then finishing up the work I have then making myself a fancy meal with the stuff I bought that day.

Then proceed to have a fancy date with myself treating myself with only the comfiest of clothes (pajamas) and the best seat in the house (couch) and the finest entertainment (FRIENDS).

Then taking a shower late at night after a long day because there's no one else to yell at me telling me that I'm gonna get sick or get a headache.

Then going to sleep straight away cause that shower made me sleepy for some reason.

Then wake up in the morning regretting that shower and wishing that I listened to what mom always told me because now I have a headache.

Then taking some Tylenol and feeling better and then following the same kinda routine as yesterday except maybe going out to dinner with that friend that I haven't hung out with in a while or the old friend that's back in town for a while to catch up over a meal.

Then maybe going out for a movie too. And coming home late because there's no one else home to deal with because I'm late.

And maybe make plans with my family to go visit them soon.

And I want to be grateful for the life I have and be happy with it and look forward to each day. I just want a life. Nothing too extravagant but something normal like that.

I'd also like to take a break for like a big road trip. During the existential crisis that I'm having. Then once I'm better maybe go on a bigger trip all over the world. With a really good friend.


	3. I Don't Even Use Tumblr

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bunch of things that would fulfill my inner Tumblr aesthetic obsessed self.

  * **Clothes That Actually Match My Style**



  * **A Home in a Place with Colder Weather**  



So I can wear as much black as I want without dying of a heat stroke.

 

  * **A Vinyl Collection**



 

  * **A Camera Collection**



 

 

  * **This Picture Framed in My Personal Library**



 

 

  * **A Personal Library**



 

 

  * **Books.**



Lots and lots of books.

 

 

  * **People**



 

To Be Continued..


	4. Water

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On January 7th, 2016 I started ranting to a book. At first it was like a diary of sorts but over time, since the last few years of my life have been following the same routine day after day, I ran out of 'diary content'. So it became a book filled with a lot of random but kind of deep thoughts.

**A Small Extract From an Extreme and Depressing yet Ironically Hilarious Literary Work Written by Thirteen Year Old Me, Post Breakdown**

_Maybe I'm the one who's forgotten already. It makes sense. I haven't been happy in years. I miss it. And I don't even remember it._

Written on the next page over are the lyrics to Kanye West's "Monster".

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On a lighter note... I recently discovered that my Patronus is a hyena.


	5. Noteworthy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A place for all the things that I've read which I found noteworthy. From random quotes written in old notebooks, screenshots, and highlighted sections of books from my little library; they all have some kind of meaning which, at some point in time, stood out to me. Some of which I can still relate to and others that seem completely meaningless now. But all of them together, if I take the time to decipher, tell a story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To clarify: In quotes is the actual quote.  
> In bold is the source (and author if I know who that may be).  
> And in italics is my take on the quote.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> "Don't you have much more faith in ideas that you discover for yourself than in ideas that are handed to you on a silver platter? If so, isn't it bad judgement to try to ram your opinions down the throats of other people? Isn't it wiser to make suggestions-and let the other person think out the conclusion?"

**How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie**

  *   _Even_ _though this book was written in the 1930's, the first thing I thought of when I read this was all the people online who claim to be advocates for equality. Rather than simply_ stating  _their opinions they seem to be very keen on disregarding the opinions of others, whom they are trying to persuade into their way of thinking. If you begin by making your adversary feel like their opinions are absolute garbage, you will probably make them even more stubborn on defending themselves. Usually, this lowers the chances of them taking your ideas and viewpoints into serious consideration. So if you really want someone to agree with you on a matter, be nice and let them know that you are not saying that they're wrong and you're right but merely disagreeing with them on a certain point._



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> " In talking with people, don't begin by discussing the things on which you differ. Begin by emphasizing-and keep on emphasizing- the things on which you agree. Keep emphasizing, if possible, that you are both striving for the same end and that your only difference is one of method and not of purpose."

**How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie**

  * _This quote, I feel like, just further elaborates the previous one. When talking to people, I think it's very important to start out positive. I've noticed that first impressions play a significant role in your overall relationship with someone. Whether it be a five minute conversation with a stranger whom you never speak to again or someone that ends up staying for a long while; if at first you have a negative impact on them, it is usually more difficult to get them to agree with you. They will most likely look for any opportunity to contradict your point. The next quote (the picture) also ties in with this, but is a bit less of advice as it is... um... Hitler-like...(?)._



                                                                             

  * _I only said that this was Hitler-like because of the last part. I don't know a lot about Hitler, other than the basics, but I have read that he was seemingly great before he started doing all the things that made him the Hitler we all know and love. And now I have begun to digress... so I'm going to stop._



_To me, personally, this (quote) seems a bit more like manipulation that the other two quotes; but true nonetheless._


	6. Hate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> My thoughts on hate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to be listing these out point by point because there's a lot that I want to say about this topic and they're all all over the place. Also, I stink at transitioning my points smoothly.

I want to begin by saying that I hate hate. That being said, I feel like hate is the only thing that I can hate without being hypocritical.

 

  * I currently live in a place where the majority of what the citizens of this country believe in is very different from what I believe in. I moved (back) here when I was twelve, back when I didn't really think too much into things, so my immediate response to this drastic change in environment was hate. I don't think I went a day without reminding someone how much I hated living here. Don't get me wrong, I still don't like it. But now whenever my head tells me how much I hate this place, I always remind myself that I don't-that I just don't like living here. There are rare occasions when I'm just so overwhelmed with negativity that I lack the energy to stay positive, rare occasions when I let myself rant about everything I hate and how much I hate it and why I hate it. You would think that this would just fill me with even more negativity, but no. Instead it, for some reason that I have yet to comprehend, really gives me the energy I need to stay positive. It helps me realize the power of frustration and how it can make us explode. It helps me to remind myself that things like anger can make us say things that we don't really mean.



 

TBC

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would like to say that these are my opinions based on what I've seen in the world and my personal experiences with it, none of this is from scientifically proven evidence that I know of. All from my head. (Unless told otherwise.)


End file.
